The courage to love again

It takes courage to love again after someone has been hurt. " To love and be loved is to feel the sun from both sides" - David Viscott.



What did I know about love? Nothing, except that I desperately wanted to believe in it again, but I couldn't just find the courage because I had been hurt before and the fear of being hurt again run through my spine everytime he talked about our future together in our conversations.



After having my heart stomped on, allowing myself to love again had all the appeal of leaping from a plane with no parachute, with my hands and feet tied together, blindfolded. Which is so scary, in fact paralyzingly so. More like entering a dark forest which is rumoured to have beasts, and not sure if you will come out alive or tone into pieces.



The pain of rejection is so consuming that it can seem better to live a life unloved than run a risk of another heart break again. My empty existance taught me that in trying to guarantee I wouldn't feel more pain, I was keeping myself in exactly that painful space. Consumed by memories of that failed relationship instead of forever thinking of building one that would last, I was living a lonely life because I lacked courage to tell anyone "I loved them " ever again. Because of the fear of them walking out of my life leaving me hurting like what happened in my past.



Saying "I love you" to someone after the pain of being hurt took more courage than I was sure i had at the time. It took me a while to say but couldn't hide my feelings for him any more. All that i said that day was from the bottom of my heart and I meant that, "I have moved on from my past".



Rejection and failure are very painful. No one needs that and having experienced either can leave you feeling worthless and you feel you never want to act again, you could be right, unless you find courage.



But remember that a moment of bravery can banish a life of loneliness or disappointment and give you an incredible life of loving, adventure and achievement. Be bold, be genuine, be you and have courage to take a chance and love again. Because having courage to love again can genuinely transform your life. It transformed mine, he is one in a million.

Gishu culture

Today i decide to learn about the Bagisu and decided to blog about my findings.

Bagisu or Gisu also known as Gishu, Bagishu,Masaba or Sokwia are people of the Bantu family who live a long the slopes of Mount Elgon(also called Mount Masaba) in Mbale district eastern Uganda.

The Bagisu are known for the fearsome aggressiveness and strength by their neighbors in Uganda and Kenya whilst the world know the Bagisu people for their Mbalu circumcision rituals. Imbalu circumcision rituals aim at strengthening cultural continuity by enhancing the passing over of cultural responsibilities and ideologies from older generations to young ones.

Bagisu speak a language commonly known as Lugisu and sometimes called Lumasaba which belongs to Niger-Congo language family. Lugisu has multiple dialects just like any language from Bantu origin. I.e Ludwdiri, Lubuuya, lubukusu and common Lugisu.

The bagisu's staple food is malewa. Before I proceed, an elderly gishu woman I interacted with about food told me this proverb; "Umukhasi umutuufu amanya inda yo museetsa " ( a proper woman knows the husband's stomach.) That proverb made me dig more on how the malewa is prepared and by the way, it tastes so good. Tried it. Many of you may ask, "what is malewa?" Malewa is smoked bamboo shoots which are dried for preservation. Ingredients when preparing malewa include; malewa,water,salt and peanut paste. When preparing the malewa, it is boiled in water to clean it and then the joints of the shoot are cut off leaving the middle parts which are cut into smaller pieces. Rock salt is added to the boiled malewa to make it more tender. Finally peanut paste and salt are added and the source is simmered to acquire taste. The malewa source is served with either matooke, cassava, sweet potatoes, rice or posho. The Bagisu have other foods which include; bifukye, Manila, shinoko among others.

More research coming up. Till we meet again

More about Clare

Clare is a beautiful, kind hearted, yet fired Soul. On the whole this foxy cat is a gem but woe betide the person who does not fold the tent correctly  or pack the boot correctly.

Clare is a diamond of a lass but has fiery potential. She is extremely out going, and extremely multi-talented. Her journey is the envy to many. 

She is an odd individual  that enjoys the kinkier side of life. She maintains an active sex life and always opens to new experience. Attracts both male and female attention.  Nothing will stand in her way, she is a strong influence on the innocent as she appears so herself.

She is extremely bright, and wonderful to be around. She is lots of fun and quite  nice. At times  she can be sassy, but always helpful.

A very hot individual  that has everything  going for her. Does amazing  things with amazing people. No one can ever get enough  of her.

C-L-A-R-E is the coolest spelling of her name. She is as hot as the sun. She is loved by many, has nice eyes, a perfect smile and wanted by both  girls and boys.  She has very few flaws except that she is too perfect, many girls are jealous. She is just awesome .

She is the funniest  girl you will ever meet, has many jokes up her sleeve. Tends to be sarcastic at times and so canning like a rabbit,  many refer to her as sharp but I guess she just has an encyclopedia  of a lot of things in her brain.

Sometimes appears to be shy and anti-social and a little awkward but once U really get to know her, she will open up to an amazing  person. She is really caring and there when it counts. She is sweet, beautiful  and loves to love and to be loved. She is never afraid to go out of her way to help others, but when asked a simple question she shies away.

When I describe Clare, might type for 12 months a year or 365 days a year or 8760 hours a year or 525600 minutes a year or 31536000 a year. 

Afte making Clare an open book to my reader, til we meet again on my next blog. 

Love

Love a simple word to define but a complex feeling. But i always refer to it as "the affair of the heart". Love is not wanting to go anywhere without him. Love is not caring what other people think about the two of you. Love is when you feel depressed and sickly when you are not with him. You feel like your life has no meaning or purpose without him. Love is caring for him physically and emotionally. Its telling him anytime, anywhere, anyhow, for no reason that you love him. Love is telling him that you want to spend the rest of your life with him. Love is wanting to marry him even if you haven't been dating for long. Others may refer to it as an intense feeling of deep affection and i agree with them no doubt.

The questions from my readers may be, why talk about love. Am a lover so talking about love is simple but then probably am talking about my feelings.


Every time I think or talk about love, I think about giving up my whole life and my everything to make sure that this one person I love is okay. And the question would be, who is this guy who had the right broom to sweep me off my feet. I may refer to him as Mr right or more so the anchor of my life. When my eyes met him for the first time, I knew deep within my heart that he is the perfect match for me. When I think about him, it brings a smile to my face and a yournig to my heart. When I kiss him, it's an overwhelming bliss💏. I always want him to hold me in his arms til the end of day. I be helplessly and deeply in love with him knowing my love for him and my feelings for him will never change because to me love is the world, and the world is love and he is the world to me.😉


Lets talk about this Mr right. He is tall and broad-shouldered, with a mop of dark hair and heavy, solemn eye brows that are offset by a boyish grin, with a nice pair of eyes with a color of sea glass, to sum it all his physical appearance  could be termed as *very attractive*. But then that's not what impressed me about him, his humility, his integrity, generosity,  and kindness did the magic and i fell in love😍😘.


I know many of you are moved by titles yes he has one  "an aeronaut" but I take that as a bonus. But then people may ask what is the big deal of being an aeronaut? Walter Cunningham once said " any idiot can get an aeroplane Off the ground, but an aviator earns his keep by bringing it back anytime, anywhere, under any circumstances that man and God can dream up". Though then that is his title but not mine. And many of you will wonder why Mr right's title doesn't bother me, it's simply because am woman of value, and according to Shannon L. Alder "a woman or a man of value doesn't love you because of what she or he wants you to be or do for them. He or she loves you because your combined souls would understand each another, complements each other,and makes sense above any other person in the world. You each share a part of their soul's mirror and see each other's light reflected in it clearly. You can easily speak from the heart and feel safe doing it. Both of you can be travelling a parallel road your entire life. Without each other's presence, you feel like an old friend or family member was lost. It bothers you, not because you have given it too much meaning, but because God did. This is the type of person you don't have to fight for because you can't get rid of them and your heart doesn't want them to leave anyways." And thats how I look at my Mr right. I know all ladies love a man with the 3Ds (Dream, Drive and Dick) and I also do and trust me he got the 3Ds.


The problem is if I start talking  about this and that about him, I will not stop because it's the effect of being in love but I feel sad that have to close my blog for now and chase my dream. Because a man with the 3Ds would also love a woman with purpose. Till we meet again my readers.