The courage to love again

It takes courage to love again after someone has been hurt. " To love and be loved is to feel the sun from both sides" - David Viscott.



What did I know about love? Nothing, except that I desperately wanted to believe in it again, but I couldn't just find the courage because I had been hurt before and the fear of being hurt again run through my spine everytime he talked about our future together in our conversations.



After having my heart stomped on, allowing myself to love again had all the appeal of leaping from a plane with no parachute, with my hands and feet tied together, blindfolded. Which is so scary, in fact paralyzingly so. More like entering a dark forest which is rumoured to have beasts, and not sure if you will come out alive or tone into pieces.



The pain of rejection is so consuming that it can seem better to live a life unloved than run a risk of another heart break again. My empty existance taught me that in trying to guarantee I wouldn't feel more pain, I was keeping myself in exactly that painful space. Consumed by memories of that failed relationship instead of forever thinking of building one that would last, I was living a lonely life because I lacked courage to tell anyone "I loved them " ever again. Because of the fear of them walking out of my life leaving me hurting like what happened in my past.



Saying "I love you" to someone after the pain of being hurt took more courage than I was sure i had at the time. It took me a while to say but couldn't hide my feelings for him any more. All that i said that day was from the bottom of my heart and I meant that, "I have moved on from my past".



Rejection and failure are very painful. No one needs that and having experienced either can leave you feeling worthless and you feel you never want to act again, you could be right, unless you find courage.



But remember that a moment of bravery can banish a life of loneliness or disappointment and give you an incredible life of loving, adventure and achievement. Be bold, be genuine, be you and have courage to take a chance and love again. Because having courage to love again can genuinely transform your life. It transformed mine, he is one in a million.